GM Chairman and CEO Rick Wagoner said before the automakers’ annual meeting in Delaware that his conscience is finally clear of concerns about Global Warming and saving the polar bears. “Jobs should no longer be viewed as the source of income, economic stability, and overall satisfaction, because the government is supposed to take care of all that,” he said. “Do we dream of bringing back industry? Or do we recognize that technology is an abomination against nature; that free enterprise is exploitation; that private property ownership is impossible; and Western Culture is the root of all evil?”
Wagoner said he was glad to help the American automakers to lead the rest of the world by example in adopting environmentally friendly lifestyles. “Some people may call you unemployed, but they will be wrong. You are not unemployed – you are the ecologically aware non-income-earning earth-friendly members of society.”
“Finally you and your families will be able to live on the same diet as the caribou in ANWR, who are known for their lean and healthy looks,” Wagoner said.
New York, NY – The Reverand Al Crapton, who happens to be a certified negro, lead a parade of fellow negros to protest the recent jury aquittal of negro police officers involved in shooting a fellow negro.
The police officers were almost run over by a car in which Sean Belle, also a negro, was riding with other negros outside a predominately negro strip club. Feeling threatened, police opened fire killing Belle.
Belle, in addition to being a negro, also was a criminal with a past record of doing pretty much crime related acts. He was killed in a hail of bullets fired by a number of officers, some of which were negros. Police could not verify if the bullets were negro bullets or white bullets, but promised to do a recount to make sure the proper percentage were in the firearms.
Rev Crapton, who doesn’t have a church or even goes to church, lead the protest parade. At a pre-arranged spot Rev Al Crapton gave a short speech in which he claimed ‘We are all Sean Belle!”
Police issued a ‘clear the streets order’ which Al Crapton ignored, and in keeping with the promise of ‘we’re all Sean Belle’ the police shot him fifty times too.
In the early morning hours of Sunday, March 23, twelve Muslim men met quietly at a mosque in the Iraqi province of Diyala, perhaps to bid their final farewells to friends and family. Their nose hairs trimmed, monobrows plucked, and testicles cleanly shaven in accordance with Holy Quran, they had prepared themselves to make a dignified journey into the afterlife. Suddenly, and without even reading them their rights, Coalition Forces stormed the building and gunned them down in cold blood.
Where is the outrage?
Most of us would be appalled if U.S. soldiers burst in and mowed down our ailing grandmother just as Dr. Kevrokian was hooking her up to his wonderful gizmo. Yet no one bats an eye when it happens to TWELVE innocent – and let’s not forget suicidal men. If the gung-ho, trigger-happy, baby-killing fascists had just practiced a little self-restraint and waited another hour or two, they could’ve saved themselves a lot of time and valuable ammo. But thanks to our troops, twelve members of the Muslim community were denied Death With Dignity, and 876 virgins are now standing in the unemployment line.