Pelosi to Join Borg Collective

clipped from

After 94 years of leading the Democrat-majority Congress, Rep. Nancy Pelosi retires to take the position as manager of a multi-billion hive mind of the Borg collective. “My previous existence as Madam Speaker, combined with cutting-edge plastic surgeries have fully prepared me for this dream job,” said the Democrat Representative from San Francisco. “Ever since I was a little girl, all I really wanted in life was to become a biomechanical hive queen in a Borg campaign to assimilate Earth and force humans to appreciate the benefits of enhanced living as mindless drones controlled by collective consciousness.”

Speaker of the House continued, “As soon as Walter Reed switches my vital-essence tubes and the architect’s plans for my plastic surgeries from Congress to the Borg Collective, I shall be able to administer the collective consciousness of a billion people, who speak not with a billion voices, but with my voice, which is the point of the exercise.

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Happy Stimulus Day!

I’m just so happy that the Stimulus Bill has been signed (in my very own state no less) that I just know this is going to become a national holiday.  Decades from now people will look back on this day and see the moment with the earth was healed, the oceans stopped rising, and everybody started farting rainbows.  And I don’t mean metaphysical “happiness” rainbows.  I mean actual rays of refracted light emenating from the orifices of every man, woman, and child in America.  Of course, I haven’t actually seen any of these farted rainbows yet, but that could simply mean I haven’t been in the presence of anyone with gas.  Or anyone with happy stimulus gas.


Of course, no one has really read the whole stimulus bill and therefore knows a) what it really spends b) what regulations and destruction of sections of the economy will occur nor c) just how Republicans will be punished for not supporting the will of the Chosen Ones of Democrat.  We know that Republicans will be punished for not supporting the The Messiah.   Obama is perfect in all he says and does, and those who oppose him must be punished.

But back to happy thoughts.   Are you one of the 95% of Americans who will be getting a tax cut?  Well, perhaps you are.  But its really impossible right now to tell if you are one of the happy, happy bunch who will be getting tax relief.  In fact, even if you don’t pay any income taxes you will be getting a tax refund check.  This is not a welfare check – no, no, no.  Those who say that getting a check when you didn’t pay any tax are Republicans and Republicans will be punished.  What we have is happy bunny checks coming to everybody.  Happy, happy bunnies.  Bunnies that multiply into stimulus for the economy.  $13 a week according to most reports.  That’s really happy.


And who do we have to thank for the rainbows and bunnies?  Well, this woman for one:


Aren’t you reassured to know that she is third in line to succeed to the Presidency of the United States?  Isn’t that yet another thought to be happy about on this Happy Stimulus Day.

That Didn’t Take Long

So they haven’t even handed over the second $350 billion, and the Democrats are already talking about having to spend even MORE than the $700 billion.  Here’s The Queen Bee:

Pelosi told ABC’s “This Week” program that “some increased investment” might be needed beyond the $700 billion approved last year under the Troubled Asset Relief Program, or TARP, to stabilize the nation’s banks and get them to resume making loans.

We have already been told that the $700 billion was simply a big number that was pulled out of somebody’s lower extermities in order to scare Congress into acting without knowing anything.  Now that’s not enough?  And this is on top of whatever special money they will end up giving to the auto worker’s unions and the trillion bucks of “stimulus”.

At some point do we run out of bucks?  The one thing for sure is we will never run out of Democrat’s willingness to spend.  and spend.  and spend.  and spend. and spend………….