Some 2010 Top 10’s

Top 10 Books

  1. I Shall Wear Midnight – Terry Pratchett
  2. Bloodlands – Timothy Snyder
  3. Decision Points – George W. Bush
  4. The Big Short – Michael Lewis
  5. Changes – Dresden Files Book 12 – Jim Butcher
  6. American Assassin – Vince Flynn
  7. Merchant Kings – Stephen Bown
  8. One Second After – William Forstchen

Most overhyped book of 2010 – Freedom by Jonathan Franzen – by a wide, wide, wide margin

 

Top 10 TV Shows You Aren’t Watching But Should

  1. The Good Guys – Fox
  2. Pawn Stars – History Channel
  3. Top Gear – BBC America
  4. Burn Notice – USA Network
  5. American Pickers – History Channel
  6. Human Target – Fox
  7. The Defenders – CBS
  8. Castle – ABC
  9. Psych – USA Network
  10. In Plain Sight – USA Network

Only TV comedy at which you might actually laugh – The Big Bang Theory

Most Disgusting TV Reflection on the Decline of  American Civilization – Cougar Town

 

Top 10 Movies

  1. zippety doo-dah – there’s nothing we even want to buy the dvd of

 

Top 10 Signs of the Apocylypse

  1. There is more outrage over Michael Vick and dogs than the millions of babies killed every year in this country
  2. I know about Snooki and The Situation and I’ve never, ever, ever watched a second of Jersey Shore
  3. People still are spouting off about how smart The Least Experienced Man to Ever Be Elected President is
  4. Corruptocrat Charlie Rangel gets a standing O from the Democrats after being Censured
  5. Obamacare
  6. John Edwards has the gall to show up at Elizabeth Edward’s funeral
  7. Keith Olbercrazy is still considered to be a “newsman”
  8. The Denver Broncos
  9. “We can’t just rely on the parents”,  Michelle Obama
  10. North Korea is not a glow-in-the-dark example of American “moderation”

Least Surprising News of 2010 – California faces multi-billion dollar budget hole

Most Surprising News of 2010 – 63 seat wipeout is just ho-hum for a week or so and then back to “Democrats in Charge”

 

 

10 Movies That Make Me Lose the Will to Live

It’s not that these movies are completely unwatchable – some of them might look pretty.  It’s just that evening thinking about these things seems to make me question where my soul has gone.

1.  2001 – A Space Odyssey

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Dave”.  the only thing that is even remotely memorable from this snorefest.  It might have been wonderful movie making technology in 1968, but its a sure cure for insomnia today.

2.  The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I think the problem is the original material they are dealing with.  I have tried 3 different times to read the Lord of the Rings books and after 30 minutes I’m still on page 3 and can’t concentrate on the material so I quit.  The movies put me to sleep.

3.  Anything by Quentin Tarantino

I don’t know where this guy grew up – and heaven forfend that anybody else still lives there.  After hearing about the Kill Bill movies I didn’t even watch.  Pulp Fiction was disgusting, degrading filth; Reservior Dogs was a gory mess – its just not even worth wasting your time watching anything he’s involved with.

4.  An Affair to Remember

Cary Grant plays the character of our New President Messiah today.  Too cool for school smartass who thinks he’s smarter than anybody in the room.  And there’s a reason men don’t get this movie – its boring beyond words.

5.  The new Oceans Movies

The first one was interesting only to see that Chinese guy fold himself in half.  The rest are just a bunch of Hollyweird twits walking around and earning millions of dollars for looking pretty.

6.  Lost in Translation

So an all-expenses paid vacation in a high-tech luxury world is too much for you Scarlett?  Try working for an actual living and then see what you have to whine about.  And does anybody in the universe believe that somebody like her would end up with a dead-looking Bill Murray?

7.  Sabrina

And I mean both the original with Audrey Hepburn from before I was born and especially the excruciating remake with Harrison Ford as “wooden guy who has no expression”.  Time actually reverses itself as this thing is being watched thus trapping you in an eternal loop of despair and boredom.

8.  Any of the “Home Alone” movies

The smack of steel against flesh.  And the conceit that little twerps are always smarter than adults.  Begone you little twit – and take your ignorant parents with you!

9.  Anything by Woody Allen since Annie Hall

Yes, we get it.  You like New York and young girls.  Very young girls.  You are a dirty old man.  Other than that you haven’t said anything worth noting in decades.  Just play your clarinet and leave us alone.

10.  The Way We Were

Pretty much anywith with Babs is unwatchable pap, but this one takes the cake.  Commies win WWII and make movies while cheating on their spouses and being spied on by Joe McCarthy.  With that song which will make your ears bleed.

Red Dawn 2 – Attack of the Toys

\"Hey round-eye! Bang Bang! We kick your butt with finger gun!\"

Harvey over at IMAO has his finger on the pulse of the latest Hollywood idea:

United Artists has announced that they are currently filming a sequel to the war movie classic Red Dawn, which will be released in 2009, on the 25th anniversary of the original.

The new movie will be based on several true stories, none of which are connected in real life. In “Red Dawn 2: Beaten By Toys”, a brigade of Chinese Communists will – under the guise of carrying an Olympic torch – rampage through America, conquering city after city with no resistance using only objects which have been banned in American school systems. For example:

* A real WWII grenade with no explosive charge or detonator.

* A butter knife.

* Overly sugared Kool-Aid mix.

* A beeper.

* A Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

* A squirt gun.

* A pen with the Glock logo.

* Jolt Gum.

* Nails.

* Non-alcoholic jello shots.

* Mouthwash.

* A drawing of a gun.

* A Sharpie marker.

* A ham sandwich.

* Snowballs.

* An emergency roadside kit.

* Midol.

* A pointed finger combined with the word “bam”.

UA publicist Dennis Rice is enthusiastic about the upcoming release. “First, we’re thrilled that we can bring the sort of ‘ripped from the headlines’ relevance that America expects from its movies. Second, it’s a well-deserved fart in the face to the greatest nation on earth, and it’s sort of our way of thanking America for letting us make a living by biting the hand that feeds us.”