Today’s Humor

Via Jay Leno:

Well, Democrats are furious, they’re going on record now saying John Edwards will not be allowed to speak at the convention because of this affair. Yeah, instead speaking in his place: Bill Clinton. You have to put your foot down. … In an interview recorded by the BBC in Africa, Bill Clinton told people in Africa to practice monogamy and that we need to control unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners. In fact, the minute he said that, the Secret Service wrestled him to the ground and said, “Who are you and what have you done with the real Bill Clinton?”

The Teachings of Christianity

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“He led me to the Word of God with an inspiring story of a homeless African-American urban activist named Jesus Christ, who advocated for higher taxes, reparations, and government redistribution of earthly belongings. Like many inner-city Blacks, he was born in the slums to a teenage mother and had never seen his real father. Despite being oppressed and discriminated against, Christ was helping the poor by demanding government handouts. But the White-supremacist government only gave them crack cocaine and infected them with the AIDS virus, which had been invented specifically for that purpose. As Christ was tending to the AIDS victims he himself became infected through needle sharing. Then he tried to find his father, but was constantly subjected to racial profiling, and then was arrested, tortured, and crucified.