Obama Fan

A teacher in Elmira, New York, who is an Obama supporter, asked her 4th grade class, ‘How many of you are Obama fans?’

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands, except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different? Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan.’

The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan?’ Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Republican.’ The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.’

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’ With a big smile, Little Johnny replied,
‘That…would make me an Obama fan.’

Bipartisanship

Supposedly told by Abraham Lincoln

One day a husband and wife were living peacefully in their cabin after more than twenty years of marriage. Suddenly a ravenous bear breaks into the cabin. The husband tells the wife to go to the corner while he fights the bear. The husband and bear go to it tooth, claw and Bowie knife. The carnage is terrible.

The wife, looking on from the corner, shouts out, “Go to it, husband!” Then she thinks for a second and shouts out, “Go to it, bear!”

Hippie Punching

Do your part today.
clipped from www.imao.us
If there’s one thing I’ve realized over the past few years is that hippies are not being punched quite enough, and I think the recent incident with Berkeley and the Marines shows the problem of not enough hippie punching.
So what has led to this dearth in hippie punching? Breakdown in family structure? Loss of prayer in school? Increasing childhood obesity? Prevalence of non-violent videogames? Whatever the reason, I think we need to spend more time telling the next generation the importance of striking hippies in the face with a fist. No functional society has survived hippies running around unpunched, and America will be similarly doomed if we don’t change our ways.
Our military is overseas killing terrorists — the violent form of the hippie — so they can’t be here punching hippies for us. We have to do that ourselves.
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