I’m just so happy that the Stimulus Bill has been signed (in my very own state no less) that I just know this is going to become a national holiday. Decades from now people will look back on this day and see the moment with the earth was healed, the oceans stopped rising, and everybody started farting rainbows. And I don’t mean metaphysical “happiness” rainbows. I mean actual rays of refracted light emenating from the orifices of every man, woman, and child in America. Of course, I haven’t actually seen any of these farted rainbows yet, but that could simply mean I haven’t been in the presence of anyone with gas. Or anyone with happy stimulus gas.
Of course, no one has really read the whole stimulus bill and therefore knows a) what it really spends b) what regulations and destruction of sections of the economy will occur nor c) just how Republicans will be punished for not supporting the will of the Chosen Ones of Democrat. We know that Republicans will be punished for not supporting the The Messiah. Obama is perfect in all he says and does, and those who oppose him must be punished.
But back to happy thoughts. Are you one of the 95% of Americans who will be getting a tax cut? Well, perhaps you are. But its really impossible right now to tell if you are one of the happy, happy bunch who will be getting tax relief. In fact, even if you don’t pay any income taxes you will be getting a tax refund check. This is not a welfare check – no, no, no. Those who say that getting a check when you didn’t pay any tax are Republicans and Republicans will be punished. What we have is happy bunny checks coming to everybody. Happy, happy bunnies. Bunnies that multiply into stimulus for the economy. $13 a week according to most reports. That’s really happy.
And who do we have to thank for the rainbows and bunnies? Well, this woman for one:
Aren’t you reassured to know that she is third in line to succeed to the Presidency of the United States? Isn’t that yet another thought to be happy about on this Happy Stimulus Day.