CIA Trained Geese Bring Down Plane

The People’s Cube reports:

  • CIA-trained geese responsible for bringing down NYC plane
  • CIA agents fed geese on lunch breaks at DC parks during the 1980s; now they have come back to bite us
  • A flock of Canada geese caught on film illegally obtaining Florida driver licenses
  • ACLU: Term “Canada geese” may be offensive to some Canadians and some geese; lawsuit pending
  • Hugo Chavez offers sanctuary to Canada geese in Venezuela
  • Obscure flock of suicidal Palestinian pigeons take responsibility for New York bird strike
  • All Jewish geese took the day off yesterday; conspiracy movie “Goose Change” expected soon
  • Ted Kennedy calls on Detroit to design cars that can float on water like Airbus 8320
  • Witness: Bush looks the other way as geese-striken plane falls in New York
  • Study: gravitational pull has worsened in Bush years; things plunge faster
  • Obama to reduce gravity by 60% in his first term, pledges to eliminate it completely by 2012, giving airlines better safety and fuel efficiency
  • Investigation halted as community groups demand to leave fallen plane’s left wing alone
  • Sensing blood, mainstream media focuses attention on plane’s right wing
  • Noam Chomsky justifies bird strike as legitimate use of force against US expansionism by oppressed water fowl
  • Geese scabs unwilling to participate in bird strike washed up dead on Long Island beaches; fowl play suspected
  • Tragedy in the Hamptons: local reporter attempting to interview grazing geese found dead stricken by a stray golf ball
  • In other news: most Canada geese prefer to get medical treatment in the US


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