Update from the People’s Cube:
(Dante’s Inferno, 7th Level) – Senator Dick Durbin’s (D-IL) comment “The hottest ring in Hell is reserved for those in politics who attack their opponents’ families” made to NBC’s Norah O’Donnell has sent shockwaves to evil thugs around the world, who thought they were a shoe-in for the top hot spot in the eternal pit of damnation and hellfire. An assortment of Nazis, Communists, terrorists, and other violent and sadistic figures were found consoling each other shortly after Durbin’s official announcement.
“I really thought we had the hottest spot locked up after starting a war in Europe that killed 60 million, including over six million of God’s chosen people,” said Dr. Joseph Goebbels, a spokesperson for the National Socialist German Workers Party. “If we had known that the hottest ring in Hell is reserved for those who challenge a Democrat politician’s wife, we would’ve called Eleanor Roosevelt a bitch and saved the world an awful lot of trouble,” he added with dismay.
“What does a guy have to do to get some props up in here?” said an incredulous Joseph Stalin. “No offense to the Nazis, but we killed over 20 million of our own citizens and we are still playing second fiddle to the GOP!” bemoaned the one-time ‘Gardener of Human Happiness,’ who looked very upset. “After all those cold Russian winters I was looking forward to the hottest part in Hell.