Progressive Thanksgiving Prayer: Blessing of the Taxes

Now, everybody knows that Thanksgiving observance does nothing more than perpetuate the Holocaust of the Native American. What positive meaning could be found in such a grotesquely shameful holiday? Well, my admirable laser-sharp mind of an economist with three PhDs immediately found a brilliant, socially significant answer.

clipped from www.thepeoplescube.com Bless my taxes, O God! Give me peace of mind as I rejoice in filling out forms and returning money to its rightful owner, the government. In service to you, my Lord, we will not rest until everyone is truly equal. Tax the rich. Sicken the healthy. Scar the beautiful. Destroy the “successful”. Drown the bankers. Blind the stock traders. Cripple the athletes and sever the hands of the musicians. Plant carnivorous bacteria in the brains of those who score high on racist “IQ” tests. Deliver wasting diseases to the strong. Starve and stone the executives and managers. Show no mercy to the blood-sucking merchants as they suffer merciless deaths in the searing flames of gargantuan infernos. Smash capitalism and deliver us, Dear One, to our deserved socialist paradise. May your blessing rest on my Form 1040, dear Lord, and may my taxes well serve you and my fellow citizens! Amen.